Support

I knew this process wouldn't be easy, but I didn't know what form or shape the difficulties I'd face would take. You can't schedule when unexpected and sudden grief might overtake you--like when I was walking back to work after lunch today and found myself with tears rolling down my cheeks. There's no post-abortion calendar for that kind of thing.

I don't have a timer for my next cry, but I am lucky to have an amazing network of support to help me through when those times come.

My best girl friend has been perhaps my biggest support throughout this process. From the moments where I've tried to make light of the situation (I told her I was pregnant by first prefacing, "Okay, get ready for a Lifetime Movie moment," right before disintegrating into tears.) to the difficult topics, to the bucking up and cheering up, she's been a grace. She's kept me honest with myself, listened to everything I've had to say and been there for me in a way I never could have imagined. I'm lucky to have a friendship with such openness and honesty. I know she's reading this blog, and I hope she knows that I love her.

I couldn't have had a better support through the procedure than my boyfriend. I am still in shock over how things were handled, from my first ultrasound at my terrible former OB/GYNE's office to the shuffling, disorder and confusion on the procedure day. My boyfriend was there to keep me calm, keep me collected and wipe away my tears and run his fingers through my hair. I'm still not sure how I could have handled all of it without his comfort. He has been a balm to the hurt, from quiet hand-holding to his sweet jokes that bring a smile back to my usually cheerful face.

After weeks of thinking that I knew no one personally who had ever been through an abortion, I discovered that I did. When I finally confided in them, my parents shared that they had been through it before. My parents had had an abortion. I was in third grade, and they couldn't have another child for many reasons at that point. They terminated their pregnancy, and I never knew until two days before my own procedure. To know that my own mother had been through it, to talk with her about it, it gave me unspeakable strength.

And finally, the brave women who have kept abortion and pro-choice blogs before me have been a beautiful network of community, solidarity and strength. Reading through the experiences of other women--abortion providers, pro-choice activists and women who have faced the same choice as me--it gave me support when I had none. When I've been scared, when I've been confused, when I've been alone and when I've needed to hear someone else's voice about this difficult choice, I've had support in all of these women. What an amazing support it has been.

I am incredibly honored that Angie, the strong and honest woman behind the blog My Journey Through Abortion, mentioned my blog today. It is women like her whose chronicles through this experience inspired me to share my own.

I hope that my blog offers someone support the same way that her blog bolstered me. I hope that this network of support only continues to grow and flourish. I hope that in doing so, we continue to strengthen the fabric of a safe community that swathes and supports women who make this choice.

Thanks, Angie. You rock.